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Global Warming is Responsible for ….

“When the history of the global warming scare comes to be written, a chapter should be devoted to the way the message had to be altered to keep the show on the road. Global warming became climate change so as to be able to take the blame for cold spells and wet seasons as well as hot days. Then, to keep its options open, the movement began to talk about ‘extreme weather’.”

- Matt Ridley,Nobody Even Calls the Weather Average,” July 9, 2013.

There is no link between global warming and Sharknado, tweats U.S. EPA. But this summer, global warming has been blamed for firefighter deaths, more thunderstorms, and poor lobster catches. The litany of abnormalities that is so big and broad that contradictions, not only prima facie absurdities, abound.

I am reminded of a previous post at MasterResource back in February 2010 taken from Number Watch (UK), a depot for “all about the scares, scams, junk, panics, and flummery cooked up by the media, politicians, bureaucrats, so-called scientists and others who try to confuse you with wrong numbers.”

This site interprets the climate-change movement as eco-theology. It explains:

Children are having nightmares about their carbon footprint. What a pretty pass modern man has brought himself to! Frightening children with scary stories about hell fire is the way our ancestors drilled society into conformity. It might have been hoped that the age of science would bring all that to an end, but now we have entered the post-scientific age, in which a new class of high priest returns to the traditional methods of enforcement.

So here is the list (of nearly 700), to which we must now add dozens more:

Acne, agricultural land increase, Afghan poppies destroyed, poppies more potent, Africa devastated, Africa in conflict, African aid threatened, African summer frost, aggressive weeds, Air France crash, air pressure changesairport malaria, Agulhas current, Al Qaeda and Taliban Being Helped, allergy season longer, alligators in the Thames, Alps melting, Amazon a desert, American dream endamphibians breeding earlier (or not)anaphylactic reactions to bee stingsancient forests dramatically changed, animals head for the hills, animals shrink, Antarctic grass flourishes, Antarctic ice grows, Antarctic ice shrinks, Antarctic sea life at risk,   anxiety treatment, algal blooms, archaeological sites threatened, Arctic bogs melt, Arctic in bloom, Arctic ice free, Arctic ice melt faster, Arctic lakes disappearArctic tundra lost, Arctic warming (not), asthma, Atlantic less salty, Atlantic more salty,   atmospheric circulation modified, attack of the killer jellyfish, avalanches reduced, avalanches increased,

Baghdad snow,Bahrain under waterbananas grow, barbarisation, beer and bread prices to soar, beer betterbeer worse, beetle infestation, bet for $10,000, big melt faster, billion dollar research projects, billion homeless,billions face risk, billions of deaths, bird distributions change, bird loss accelerating, bird strikes, bird visitors drop, birds confused, birds decline (Wales), birds driven north, birds face longer migrations, birds return early, birds shrink, bittern boom ends, blackbirds stop singing, blackbirds threatened, Black Hawk downblood contaminated, blue mussels return, bluetongue, brain eating amoebae, brains shrink,bridge collapse (Minneapolis), Britain one big city, Britain Siberian, British monsoonbrothels struggle, brown Ireland, bubonic plague, budget increases, Buddhist temple threatenedbuilding collapse,building season extension, bushfiresbutterflies move north,

carbon crimes, camel deathscancer deaths in England, cannibalismcaterpillar biomass shift, cave paintings threatenedchildhood insomnia,Cholera, circumcision in decline, cirrus disappearance, civil unrest, cloud increasecoast beauty spots lost, cockroach migration, cod go south, coffee threatened, coffee berry borer, coffee berry disease,cold climate creatures survive, cold spells (Australia), cold wave (India), cold weather (world), computer models, conferences, conflict, conflict with Russiaconsumers foot the bill, coral bleaching, coral fish suffer, coral reefs dying, coral reefs grow, coral reefs shrink , coral reefs twilight, cost of trillions, cougar attacks, crabgrass menace, cradle of civilisation threatened, creatures move uphill, crime increase,crocodile sex, crops devastated, crumbling roads, buildings and sewage systems, curriculum changecyclones (Australia),

danger to kid’s health, Darfur, Dartford Warbler plaguedeadly virus outbreaks,death rate increase (US), deaths to reach 6 million, Dengue hemorrhagic fever, depression, desert advancedesert retreatdestruction of the environmentdig sites threateneddisasters, diseases move north, dog disease, Dolomites collapse, dozen deadly diseasesor not, drought,   ducks and geese decline, dust bowl in the corn belt,

earlier pollen seasonEarth axis tilt, Earth biodiversity crisis, Earth dying, Earth even hotter, Earth light dimming, Earth lopsided, Earth melting, Earth morbid fever, Earth on fast track, Earth past point of no return, Earth slowing downEarth spins faster, Earth to explode,earth upside downearthquakes, earthquakes redux, El Niño intensification, end of the world as we know it, erosion, emerging infections, encephalitis, English villages lost, equality threatened, Europe simultaneously baking and freezingeutrophication, evolution accelerating, expansion of university climate groups, (human, civilisation, logic, Inuit, smallest butterfly, cod, pikas, polar bearspossumswalrus,   toadsplants, salmon, troutwild flowers, woodlicea million species, half of all animal and plant species, mountain speciesnot polar bears, barrier reef, leaches, salamanders, tropical insects), experts muzzled, extreme changes to California,

fading fall foliage, faintingfamine, farmers benefit, farmers go under, farm output boostfashion disaster, fever, figurehead sacked, fir cone bonanza,fires fanned in Nepal, fish bigger, fish catches drop, fish downsize,   fish deaf, fish get lost, fish head north, fish shrinkingfish stocks at risk, fish stocks decline, five million illnesses, flesh eating disease, flies on Everestflood patterns change, floods, floods of beaches and cities, flood of migrants, flood preparation for crisis, flora dispersed, Florida economic decline, flowers in peril, food poisoning, food prices rise,food prices soar, food security threat (SA), football team migrationforest decline, forest expansion, frog with extra heads, frostbite, frost damage increased,   fungi fruitful, fungi invasion,

games change,Garden of Eden wilts, geese decline in Hampshire, genetic diversity decline, gene pools slashed, geysers imperiled, giant icebergs (Australia), giant oysters invade, giant pythons invade, giant squid migrate,gingerbread houses collapse, glacial earthquakes, glacial retreat, glacier grows (California), glaciers on Snowden, glacier wrapped, global coolingglowing cloudsgolf course to drown, golf Masters wrecked, grain output drop (China), grandstanding, grasslands wetter, gravity shiftGreat Barrier Reef 95% dead, Great Lakes dropgreat tits cope, greening of the NorthGrey whales lose weight, Gulf Stream failure,

habitat loss, haggis threatened, Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome,    harvest increase, harvest shrinkage, hay fever epidemic, health affected, health of children harmed, health risks, heart disease,heart attacks and strokes (Australia), heat waves, hibernation affectedhibernation ends too soon, hibernation ends too latehomeless 50 million, hornets, human development faces unprecedented reversal,human fertility reduced, human health risk, human race oblivion, hurricaneshurricane reduction, hurricanes fewer, hurricanes nothydropower problems, hyperthermia deaths,

ice age, ice sheet growth, ice sheet shrinkage, icebergsillness and death, inclement weather, India drowning, infrastructure failure (Canada)industry threatened, infectious diseases,  inflation in China, insect explosion, insect invasion,insurance premium rises, Inuit displacement, Inuit poisoned, Inuit suing, invasion of alien worms, invasion of catsinvasion of crabgrass, invasion of herons, invasion of jellyfish, invasion of king crabs, invasion of midges, island disappears, islands sinking, Italy robbed of pasta, itchier poison ivy,

jellyfish explosion, jets fall from sky,

Kew Gardens taxed, kidney stones, killer cornflakes, killing us, kitten boom, koalas under threat, krill decline,

lake and stream productivity decline, lake empties, lake shrinking and growing, landslides, landslides of ice at 140 mph, large trees decline, lawsuits increase, lawsuit successful, lawyers’ income increased (surprise surprise!)lawyers want more, legionnaires’ surgelives saved, Loch Ness monster dead, locust plagues suppressed, lush growth in rain forests,

Malaria, mammoth dung melt, mango harvest fails, Maple production advanced, Maple syrup shortage, marine diseases, marine food chain decimated, Meaching (end of the world), Meat eating to stop, Mediterranean rises,megacryometeors, Melanoma, Melanoma decline, methane emissions from plants, methane burps, methane runaway, melting permafrost, Middle Kingdom convulses, migrationmigratory birds huge losses,microbes to decompose soil carbon more rapidly, minorities hit, monkeys at riskmonkeys on the move, Mont Blanc grows, monuments imperiled, moose dying, more bad air days,   more research needed, mortality increased, mountain (Everest) shrinkingmountaineers fears, mountains break up, mountains green and flowering,   mountains taller, mortality lower, Myanmar cyclone,

narwhals at risk,National Parks damaged, National security implications, native wildlife overwhelmed, natural disasters  quadruple, new islands, next ice age, NFL threatened, Nile delta damaged, noctilucent clouds, no effect in India, Northwest Passage opened, nuclear plants bloom,

oaks dyingoaks move northocean acidification, ocean acidification faster, ocean dead spots, ocean dead zones unleashed, ocean deserts expand, ocean waves speed upOlympic Games to end, opera house to be destroyed, outdoor hockey threatened,   ozone repair slowed, ozone rise,

penguin chicks frozen, penguin chicks smaller, personal carbon rationing, pest outbreaks, pests increase, phenology shiftspines decline, plankton blooms,   plants lose protein, plants march north, plants move uphill, polar bears aggressive, polar bears deaf, polar bears drowning,   polar tours scrapped, popcorn rise, porpoise astray, profits collapse, psychiatric illness, puffin decline, pushes poor women into prostitution,

rabid batsradars taken out, railroad tracks deformed, rainfall increase, rape wave, refugeesreindeer endangered, release of ancient frozen viruses, resorts disappear, rice threatened, rice yields crash, rift on Capitol Hill, rioting and nuclear war, river flow impacted, rivers raised, roads wear out, robins rampant,   rocky peaks crack apart, roof of the world a desert, rooftop bars, Ross river diseaseruins ruined, Russia under pressure, salinity reduction,

salinity increaseSalmonella, salmon stronger, satellites accelerate, school closures, sea level rise, sea level rise faster, seals mating more, seismic activity, sewer bills rise, severe thunderstorms, sex change,sexual promiscuity, shark attacks, sharks booming, sharks moving north, sheep shrink, shop closures, short-nosed dogs endangeredshrinking ponds, shrinking sheep, shrinking shrine, Sidney Opera House wiped out, ski resorts threatened, slow death, smaller brains, smog, snowfall decrease, snowfall increase, snowfall heavy, snow thicker, soaring food prices, societal collapse, soil change, songbirds change eating habits, sour grapes, space problem, spectacular orchids, spiders getting bigger, spiders invade Scotlandsquid larger, squid population explosion, squid tamed, squirrels reproduce earlierstingray invasion, storms wetterstreet crime to increase, subsidence, suicide, swordfish in the Baltic,

Tabasco tragedy, taxes, tectonic plate movement,   terrorists (India), threat to peace, ticks move northward (Sweden), tides rise, tigers eat people, tomatoes rot, tornado outbreak, tourism increase, toxic seaweedtrade barriers, trade winds weakened, traffic jamstransportation threatened, tree foliage increase (UK),   tree growth slowed, trees in trouble, trees less colourfultrees more colourful, trees lush, tropics expansion, tropopause raised, truffle shortage, truffles downturtles crash, turtle feminised, turtles lay earlier,

UFO sightings, UK coastal impact, UK Katrina,

Vampire moths, Venice flooded, violin decline, volcanic eruptions,

walrus pups orphanedwalrus stampedewars over water, wars sparked, wars threaten billions, wasps, water bills double, water scarcity (20% of increase), waves bigger, weather out of its mind, weather patterns awry, Western aid cancelled outWest Nile fever, whale beachings,whales lose weight, whales move northwheat yields crushed in Australiawildfires, wind shift, wind reduced, winds stronger, winds weakerwine – Australian baked, wine – harm to Australian industry,wine industry damage (California), wine industry disaster (US), wine – more English, wine -  England too hot, wine -German boon, wine – no more French wine passé (Napa), wine – Scotland bestwine stronger, winters in Britain colder, winter in Britain dead, witchcraft executions, wolves eat more moose, wolves eat less, workers laid off, World at war, World War 4, World bankruptcy, World in crisis,World in flames,

Yellow fever.

The dead link collection

Africa hit hardest, Alaska reshaped, allergies increase, anxietyArctic tundra to burnatmospheric defiance,

bananas destroyed, beer shortage, blizzards, boredom, business opportunities, business risks, British gardens change,

cardiac arrestcataractschallenges and opportunitiescloud strippingcold spells, cremation to end,

damages equivalent to $200 billion, dermatitisdesert life threatened, diarrhoea,disappearance of coastal cities, drowning people,

early marriages, early spring, Earth spinning out of control, Earth wobbling, extinctions (bats, ladybirdspandas, pigmy possums, koalas, turtles, orang-utanelephants, tigers, gorillas, whales, frogs, penguins,)

fish catches rise, flames stoked, footpath erosion, frosts,

glacial growth, global dimming, god melts, Gore omnipresence,

harmful algae, hazardous waste sites breached, high court debates, HIV epidemic, human health improvement,

ice shelf collapse, lightning related insurance claims, little response in the atmosphere,

Lyme disease,

jet stream drifts north,

malnutrition, marine dead zone, Maple production advancedmental illness (Alberta), migration difficult (birds), mountains melting, mudslides,

oceans noisier, oblivion, oyster diseases, ozone loss,

Pacific dead zone, plankton destabilised, plankton loss, plant virusespolar bears cannibalistic, polar bears starvepsychosocial disturbances,

rainfall reduction, reindeer largerriches, rivers dry up, rockfalls,

shrimp sex problems, skin cancer, snowfall reduction, squid aggressive giants, stick insects, stormwater drains stressed,

teenage drinking, terrorism, tree beetle attacks, trees could return to Antarctic, tree growth increased, tsunamis, tundra plant life boost,

uprooted – 6 million,

walrus displaced, war, war between US and Canada, water stress, water supply unreliability, weedswhales wiped out, white Christmas dream ends.

Total (dead and alive) 690

5 comments

1 Ed Reid { 07.16.13 at 11:58 am }

Rob,

I think you might have missed a couple. ;-)

2 Jon R Salmi { 07.19.13 at 5:30 pm }

The responsibility for the deaths of firefighters at Yarnell Hill lies with those who have underfunded efforts to clear forest undergrowth over the years.

3 arationofreason { 07.22.13 at 11:06 am }

Beer Shortage! Now this is getting serious.

4 miken25m { 08.28.13 at 11:09 am }

I read somewhere that dandruff is caused by GW too.

5 Russell C { 08.28.13 at 12:42 pm }

Too late for your piece was a bit I wrote on July 26 about the now-contradictory lobster problem: “Global Warming Causes Warm/Cold, Wet/Dry, Bigger/Smaller Lobsters” http://junkscience.com/2013/07/25/global-warming-causes-warmcold-wetdry-biggersmaller-lobsters/

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